Unlocking emotions
by iShibanu
Summary: Emotions was one of the things that Brera had never thought about. Did he even have them...? He probably did, but just never realized what they were until now. This story contains yaoi, and a lot of other fun stuff, don't like don't read.
1. Ichi: Lust

_Disclaimer: I do not own Macross Frontier in any way. I do not gain profit from this, it is a fanwork._

 _This is one of my first fanfictions. THIS FANFICTION CONTAINS YAOI. DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED._

/

Ichi: Lust.

Brera sat against the cold stony wall. He shivered as a drop of grimy water dripped from some leaky pipe above onto his already damp skin. He curled in on himself. Waiting for something to happen, but at the same time… Scared of what that happening might be. Scary things happened to him here. Ironic really. Most people consider their home to be a safehaven, where the worst pain they'd feel is if they stubbed their toe on a table leg or something. But not Brera. His home was not safe. His home was where most of the pain he ever felt came to him. Came to him… No. Was _inflicted_ on him when he was bad. When he broke one of the many stupid rules that existed in his home only, and to him specifically. It wasn't fair. Everybody else could come and go as they pleased, do whatever they wanted within reason as long as they got their work done.

But not Brera. He wasn't allowed to do anything but sit and ponder about his sad, broken, twisted life until he was needed for something. Sometimes he was needed for a dreaded stress relief session with somebody. Stress relief for the other person, not Brera. Although he could use some stress relief, seeing the way his life had gone for the past eleven years… But psychological help was not something that he had access to, no matter how badly he needed it. The other half of the time he was needed he ended up being Ranka's bodyguard. Brera liked Ranka, she was friendly towards him, which was something he rarely experienced. But being near the girl depressed him as well, she was loved, free, _happy._ All things that he never had been, and probably never would be.

Everybody seemed to think of him as a machine, just meant to do human bidding and nothing else. But Brera wasn't a machine. Yes, maybe he had some bits of metal inside him, but he was still a person with his own emotions and thoughts, and it hurt him when people just used him for their benefits and then tossed him aside when he had accomplished what they wanted done. And what hurt him the most was when he was unable to accomplish what they wanted, and they just threw him away like some broken toy. He would then be "fixed". The fixing did more bad than good, all it did was instill more fear and pain into his life. And then. He would remain isolated in his room for days, maybe months, he could never tell, but he would sit in the dark room, alone, scared, betrayed with minimum food and water, just enough to keep him alive, an empty existence, not living for anything except to sit and feel the time pass. And then they would just go back to normal as if nothing had happened. "Do this." "Do that", he lived a life of following orders, and was being hurt mentally and physically all the while.

He was jolted out of his thoughts upon hearing the familiar "PING" go off in his head. Somebody had sent him a message on his internal messaging system. Probably Grace. It was always her. She was one of the only people that had access to that system, and everybody else who had access didn't care about him enough to contact him. Brera cringed as he opened the message, bracing himself for the usual reprimand. Grace always managed to find fault in everything he did. Brera paid dearly for that.

He was surprised to find that it was actually not a vicious scolding for some unknown infraction, but just a notice that Grace would be going out for a few hours. Wait… Grace was going out… Brera smiled upon realizing that he could do whatever he wanted as long as he was not caught. Grace was the only one who enforced her silly rules, rules stating that he couldn't do this, he couldn't do that. But now he could break as many of those rules as he wanted, if he could do so without being caught on camera or being seen by somebody else. The others didn't enforce the rules, but they would tell Grace if they saw the teen breaking them. But not getting caught was a dream in itself. Cameras were situated in every hallway. He wasn't allowed to leave his room without permission, and due to such high security in the halls, leaving his room and remaining incognito about it would be impossible. Brera was sadly, confined to his room. His cold, damp, futon sized room…

This was going to be hard. There was literally nothing in his room, save for some damp blood stained towels that acted as his bed. Suddenly, a thought about a certain someone dashed through Brera's mind. A pink tinge appeared in his cheeks. He was blushing at the thought of that person. He liked that person very much. He found them to be… cute. Brera's smile soon turned into a frown as he became very aware of a partial erection that he hadn't noticed, let alone wanted to think about, but as the thought of that person grew in his head, so did his rebellious penis. Very soon it stood proud and tall and aching between his legs. He groaned in annoyance. It always popped up out of almost seemingly nowhere at the worst times. At least he was at home and not in public… Then Brera remembered that Grace wasn't home. She was the one who had set and enforced the rule that he couldn't touch himself. He hated that rule. It was the reason for many sleepless nights. But now that she wasn't there to monitor him, he could take care of the stupid thing once and for all.

Brera shuffled over to his towel nest and crawled into it, shifting around until he got comfortable. A shaky hand hesitated, and then lightly touched his erection. His breathing hitched. He hadn't masturbated for a long time. It was always an uncommon behavior for him. He was afraid to break the rule that stated that he couldn't. He kept telling himself over and over in his mind that there was no way that he would be caught in the act, that it was safe.

Semi reassured by his own comfort, time seemed to slow down as he spat on his hand and curled it around his shaft, lightly moving it up and down along the neglected organ. Brera groaned and arched his back into his touch. Grasping his swollen member tighter, his hand moved faster, roughly handling himself. Brera groaned and bucked his hips, thrusting his cock into his hand.

His other hand tightly squeezed the towel, the sensation pulsing through his nerves almost unbearable. The room filled with the sounds of gasping and moaning as he began to imagine that it wasn't himself that was shamelessly jacking himself off, but that person who just the thought of, had coaxed his cock into begging for attention.

He squeezed his eyes shut, gasping with every breath. He rubbed his thumb over the tip, feeling the precum that had seeped out. The cyborg was slightly miffed when he felt a pressure in his abdomen. He couldn't cum now… He wasn't even close to being done yet. Brera slid two fingers into his mouth, coating them with saliva. He slowly moved his hand downwards, past his stomach, and past his manhood. He whimpered in bliss as his wet finger prodded his backside, before gently rubbing his entrance, coaxing the tight muscle to relax before slipping it in. A moan caught in his throat and Brera squirmed, trying to get used to the strange but heavenly feeling. As if by some strange instinct, his hand seemed to work his finger deeper into himself.

The sexually deprived teen curled his finger, stretching himself before adding a second finger into his tight heat. Now _this_ was something he didn't do scissored his two fingers, feeling for a certain spot, and arched his back and cried out, stars flashing across his vision as he found it. Brera somehow managed to pull a towel to his mouth, biting down and muffling any further sounds. The walls were thick, but not too thick. And this was gonna be loud.

He roughly jabbed his two fingers as deep into that spot as he could, and waggled them furiously, trying to get as much sensation out of his prostate as possible. Pulling his fingers back out and thrusting them in over and over, stabbing that one special spot every time. Brera didn't know how much longer he could last like this, extreme sensations of pleasure jolting through his body, screaming into the towel, but the only thing that could be heard was a muffled sound and the wet sound of his fingers in his ass. Brera moaned as he felt the pressure in his abdomen grow tighter. He needed to cum. _NOW_. Out of desperation he grabbed his forgotten cock again and thrusted into his hand.

It wasn't long before his orgasm hit him like a sack of bricks. The cyborg's back arched, and his hips thrusted upwards as waves of white hot pleasure washed through him again and again. He shuddered and gasped as he felt his entrance clamp down on his fingers. His member stood up straight, reaching towards the heavens as it shot his seed all over his stomach. When it ended, Brera shivered from hypersensitivity and overstimulation, afraid to move in fear of forcing his currently weak body into another mind blowing orgasm. He was exhausted. His mind grew drowsy as sleep beckoned him. He didn't care about cleaning up after himself at this point. He just wanted to sleep, rest his tired muscles, forget about the gnawing hunger in his stomach, the fear of what Grace would do to him if she found out, the stress about. About… He couldn't even think anymore as he drifted into a restless slumber full of dreams relating to the guilty fun that he had just had.

 _Brera snuggled closer to the warm body next to him, nuzzling the back of their neck. The figure sighed, and pulled him closer, bringing a knee between his legs and rubbing his crotch. Brera gasped as he felt an erection forming, and tried to gain more friction by thrusting gently against their leg. He whimpered as the leg was suddenly removed, along with the warmth. He jumped as he felt a warm breath against his ear. They were crouching over him. How had he not noticed them…? He moaned when the knee returned to its place between his legs, rubbing harder now. Brera thrusted against it, and yet again the knee was removed._

 _"_ _Impatient, are we? You naughty boy… Looks like I'll have to punish you." A genderless voice whispered in his ear. The cyborg froze in fear at the last sentence. He couldn't recall why those words scared him so much, but he knew he'd heard them before, and he knew that when he had heard them in the past, they brought misery. Brera hissed as he felt the person on his neck, kissing, biting and licking. He wrapped his arms around their back as they moved slowly down his body, paying an especially large amount of attention to his nipples, and dipping their tongue into his navel before stopping at his now engorged cock._

 _He heard the person say something undecipherable, and then felt them grab his length, pumping it up and down and then blowing warm air onto it. They were obviously enjoying the shivers they were sending up his spine. Brera almost yelped in surprise when they licked the tip of his cock. It felt like burning fire upon his already searing hot skin, and yet he bucked his hips upwards when they licked from the base to the tip, licking their lips deviously afterwards. Brera desperately tried to see the face of the mysterious person, but the room was shrouded in shadow, and their face was no exception._

 _Brera moaned as he felt a warm mouth engulf his member, taking all of him in deep into their throat and swallowing around the tip. The teen was reduced to a paralyzed sputtering blob of jelly as the person hummed, and began to bob their head up and down. He tried to thrust deeper into their warm mouth, but to his dismay that warm mouth was removed._

 _"_ _You silly boy, didn't I say to be more patient? No? Well. I'm saying it now. Be patient, you will get your release, my love." The strange person said. Brera could barely make out a hint of a smile on their face as they placed their mouth back onto his cock. It didn't take long before he felt a familiar pressure in his abdomen, the pressure grew and grew, and Brera tried to warn the person that he was about to cum, but all he could get out were some gaspy moans. They apparently knew what he meant because their head bobbed faster._

 _Brera came hard into their mouth, and felt strangely satisfied as he watched them swallow some of the white liquid. The person pulled him into a kiss… Their face, it looked so familiar… But he couldn't quite recognize it… The room and person were fading fast, Brera tried to focus and hold onto the image of the person. He very much wanted to know who they were, but with the rest of the room, they faded into darkness._

Brera woke up with a jolt, gasping air into his sweat covered body. He shuddered. It had all been a dream, and the memory was already fading fast. He was already having trouble recalling the details, but couldn't shake off the feeling of distress that loomed over the dream. He checked his internal clock. 2:34 am. He didn't have to get up for another three and a half hours. Tucking away the thought of the erotic dream into the back of his mind, Brera drifted into the clutches of sleep for the second time that night.

 _His heartbeat pounded in his ears, adrenaline filled blood rushed through his veins. Ragged breathing and heavy footsteps on a crunchy ground were the only two things that could be heard. Well, those two sounds, plus the blood curdling shrieks that he could hear resounding from his pursuer. Whatever it was…_

 _Dark gnarly trees loomed over him, casting tall shadows in the moonlight. A white haze shrouded the forest. Kept him from seeing that was chasing him. Suddenly, Brera tripped over a root that he was sure hadn't been there before, and ended up sprawled out on the ground. He tried to stand, but collapsed back to the ground upon putting weight on his ankle. It was probably broken. Brera froze as he heard his pursuer come closer. He could hear its breathing now. It was too close for safety._

 _He set out to crawling, desperately trying to get away from the monster. The blond squeezed his eyes shut when he set his hand into a puddle of something warm and wet, the smell of blood wafting into the air. He did NOT want to see where the blood was coming from, and crawled around blindly, still trying to escape from whatever was chasing him. His crawling wasn't fast enough, he realized, when hot rancid breath washed over him. It was right behind him._

 _He cracked his eyes open and slowly turned his head, viewing a sight that would scar him for life. Bulging white eyes peeked out from under thorny black scales. Redish orange light seemed to seep from between the scales. A forked tongue slithered out of a toothy maw to lick over those ugly eyes, coating them with the blackish red sludge that foamed out of the monster's mouth. Horns sprouted out of the head and back at random intervals along it's spine, ragged torn black moth like wings hung off of its back. The sight of the weathered scales on its body was enough to make the teen puke._

 _The monster looked at him, before emitting the terrible shriek that Brera had heard earlier. So the sound hadn't come from its victims after all, but from the creature itself… Brera snapped out of his thoughts when it took a step closer to him. The traumatized cyborg wanted to scramble away, but found he couldn't move. The thing took another step towards him, before sending him flying with a swipe of its massive paw. It pounced on him as soon as he landed, and just stood there. Brera found he was able to move again, and dragged himself away. He made quite a distance from the monster before it was upon him again, clawing him apart, biting him. Then it gave him another chance to get away. The goddamn thing was playing with him like some cat with a mouse. Unfortunately for him, he was the mouse._

 _It grabbed him in its mouth, and Brera let out a shrill shriek as jagged teeth easily sliced through his skin, muscle and bone. Blood bubbled through his teeth and dripped onto the leafy ground below. But he then realized the crunchy things weren't leaves, but bones. The life was fading from him. He heard a faint voice, calling him, yelling at him. He focused on that voice, it was getting louder. He looked up for his last sight ever. The back of the monster's throat as it's massive mouth closed over his head. A hideous squelchy crunching noise filled his ears…_

And then. He was awake again. Screaming as the memories of the dream, no, nightmare still rushed through his mind. Once he could think straight again, he noticed somebody in his room. Purple hair draped over her shoulder. Grace. What did she want? Brera checked the time. _Shit. 6:12. I overslept. That's why she's here!_

"Ah... Um. G-grace I'm so sorry I didn't mean to sleep late I um… I'm dead meat aren't I…?" Brera stammered. She had little patience for him when it came to stupid easy things such as waking up on time. Actually. She had little patience for him in general. He knew he was in trouble. He knew she would make him regret ever being born. She always did.

/

 _I'm gonna end it here. I do not have regular internet access, do not expect regular updates._


	2. Ni: Fear

_Hey guys, I'm sorry this took so long. I've had a lot of school stuff and have been very busy with crap such as AP classes and marching band. Anyway, here's chapter 2. Just a note, this chapter is kinda violent in the beginning. Also, sorry if the second half is just boringness full of nothing but thinking. I… Well.. I ran out of ideas. I didn't really know what I wanted to happen in the second half of this chapter. So. Yea. Enjoy if you can._

 _/_

Ni: Fear.

Brera backed away from Grace. She was dangerous. He was too, but Brera wasn't a sadistic psychopath like Grace was. She seemed shy and even friendly to most, but as soon as other people weren't around, she turned nasty towards him. She rarely had any patience for him, and found even the tiniest excuses to hurt him. This was the reason he was nervous around people, this was the reason he lived in fear. His back hit the wall. Nowhere to run. He frantically looked around, nowhere to hide.

Several people showed up in the doorway. Probably there to help drag him down to, as Grace had always said, where the magic happened. Brera never understood that. Wasn't magic supposed to be good..? Grace's magic was just torturing him. Making him scream in agony, making him wish he could just die. She'd never let him die though. They kept him alive, and they kept him conscious as long as possible. He struggled against the many hands that tried to keep him down.

Something hit him over the head, and everything went black. When Brera woke up, the first urge he had was to run. Yet again, there was nowhere to run to. He curled in a ball, barely holding back a sob. He was in that room. He knew Grace was somewhere in the room too. He knew that serrated knives, whips, hammers, metal rods, and boxes of nails were all in that room. He knew that there was a small fire over in the corner too. He knew that there was a grate in the middle of the room to drain blood from the floor. His blood. That room had been specifically designed for him. He had spent enough time in that room to know that that room meant nothing good.

Footsteps. He could hear footsteps, coming closer, and stopping somewhere near his head. Brera knew it was Grace. He was afraid to move, scared that she'd kick him right in the groin as soon as he uncurled from his ball. He had no idea how long he laid there, but it seemed like hours before somebody grabbed him, forcing him to lay flat on his back. Something metal was picked up, making a scraping noise as it dragged on the floor.

Something sharp stabbed his chest, and when he looked, he was horrified to see that it was a nail. A sharp ring sounded as the hammer hit the nail, driving it into the middle of his chest. Brera screamed as the searing pain ripped through him. A knife was picked up, and sliced across his arms, wicked serrated edges tearing flesh, the knife went over his chest and stomach too, prying up the nail and leaving a small hole in him.

A heeled foot kicked him in the stomach, enticing him to cough up blood. A metal something whacked him in the leg, in the back, in the crotch, everywhere, she was beating him with a fire poker. Cracking bones and cries of pain sounded through the room. This was how Grace relieved her stress. By hurting him. The crack of a whip and a stinging gash on his back, many more were to come. He tried to scramble away, but was dragged back, and with a crunch, she had his legs broken.

Brera wanted nothing more than to die at the moment. Everything hurt, and he knew she wasn't even close to done yet. Now that he couldn't run, there was no escape. There never was. He made another attempt to get away. Desperately dragging himself along the rough floor. He knew it was useless, but instincts screamed at him to get away in any manner possible. Somebody grabbed him by the ankles and yanked him back. Grace's voice was laced with ice, making him shudder at the words she said.

" _I know what you were up to last night, you shameless_ rat! _Did I not raise you better? Why can't you just do as I tell you? Keep this up, and I'll never give you your past back!"_

She said something else, but Brera didn't hear it. He was more focused on the burning heat he could feel coming closer and closer to his ass. He knew what it was, and that it would make him regret ever being born.

What this terrible thing was, was a metal rod that had been heated in the fire till it was scorching red-hot. What Grace intended to do with it, was something that the very thought of could make the strongest man in the world cringe. In one swift motion the rod was forced up into him. It was the worst pain Brera had ever felt. The heat was searing his insides, the rough motions tearing him up. This was a new kind of torture, something that Grace had started doing only recently. Not that it made it any less cruel. Brera screamed until his voice was hoarse, and then screamed some more. Tears streaming down his face.

Why was she doing this to him? All he had done was something that was apparently a natural thing for a human male to do, especially a teen. So then why was she punishing him for such an act? Why did she have to hurt him? He knew she enjoyed it, but that was no excuse for all the ways she had hurt him. Blood splattered the floor as she pulled the rod out of his abused body. Looking down on his trembling form she couldn't help but to laugh. Her cyborg, whose power was unrivaled, now just a weeping ball of sorrow on the ground. So pathetic…

Brera could feel himself slipping away. He had lost too much blood, and was now going into shock. It barely registered in his mind when Grace kicked him in the chest, the heel of her shoe catching on the hole from the nail and ripping it open. Ribs cracked and lungs punctured, Brera didn't notice. He didn't feel anything anymore. His brain had shut itself down. He didn't notice when Grace stepped on his head and forced his face into the bloodstained concrete floor. He didn't hear the words she spoke. He didn't feel when he was thrown back into his room. He was unconscious.

He awoke several hours later. He wished he hadn't woken up. Everything hurt. Brera groaned, and stupidly tried moving. With a small yelp he held still. Squeezing his eyes shut as that pain was multiplied by one thousand. He knew he'd have to get up eventually. Might as well take his time and endure it now then suddenly having to jump up later. Brera nearly screamed in pain as he slowly sat up. Fractured bones popped and snapped, and flesh wounds pulled themselves opened again. But what hurt the most was his ass. The burns and cuts inside him twisted with every movement, almost restoring the pain that he felt when Grace had forced that rod into him.

Brera hastily checked his internal messaging system to distract himself from the pain. A message from Grace, saying that he would have to watch Ranka later that day, and of course, painfully reminding him of what happened earlier that morning and telling him to behave himself. Another message popped into his inbox as soon as he finished reading the first one.

" _Brera,_

 _I hope you are awake. I have sent a guard to fetch you from your room to take you to shower and wash off all that blood, and get dressed. Ranka would not react happily to have you go to her covered in blood. Hide your wounds, and I have told the guard that if you are still down on the floor when he gets there, then he can have his way with you. If you don't want something to be forced up your pathetic anus for the second time this morning, I'd suggest you get up._

 _Sincerely, Grace"_

After reading the message, Brera painfully got to his feet as quickly as one with half healed broken legs could. He knew that if the guard raped him, then he wouldn't be able to work today, or worse, not be able to hide his pain from Ranka and get in even more trouble than he already was.

A heavy knock sounded on the door, and the guard walked in. Brera was pushed to his knees, and groaned as a hard cock was suddenly in his face. Of course, he should have known that the guard would have done something regardless of whether he was up or not. At least he wasn't planning on raping the cyborg.

"Suck." The guard commanded. And with experienced lips Brera followed that order, bobbing his head up and down, relaxing his throat and swallowing the guard's dick whole. Very soon the teen was curled on the floor, coughing up the cum that the guard had deposited in his mouth. Sides heaving, Brera shakily got to his feet and followed the guard down the hall to get ready for the day.

Brera shivered as ice cold water streamed onto him, the water turning pink as it flowed down the drain. He wasn't allowed to spend long in the shower, and he wasn't allowed to take a hot shower. The chilly water motivated him to wash himself as quickly as possible. At least most of his injuries were numbed by the temperature. He examined his previously broken legs. They seemed to be healing well, he could stand on them, so that was progress enough. Most of the flesh wounds were already knitting back together, and there was no longer a steady stream of blood from his ass. His body healed quicker than most, a cut on a normal human that would take weeks to heal would heal on Brera within a few hours. It was probably a result of one of the sick experiments Grace performed on him a few years earlier.

Shutting off the water, Brera quickly dried himself off and got dressed. This section of the building was colder than the rest, so getting warm quickly after taking a cold shower was crucial to functionality. Sometimes he couldn't help but to wonder if he was cold blooded. He was sluggish in the cold and alert when warm. Too much warmth and he would overheat and his systems would glitch. His frosty personality sure made it seem like he was cold blooded.

Brera sighed. People always got upset with him for being cold. It wasn't his fault, he was just… a bit skittish around people. Everything Grace has done to him… It gave him perfect right to be like that…. Right? Grace always told him that nobody wanted to get to know him or even talk to him because he was a monster, that he was just a stupid machine. But that wasn't his fault either, it was because of Grace.

All he wanted at that point was a friend of some sort, just somebody to talk to. He had been practically isolated the whole eleven years he had belonged to Grace, which was why he didn't know much on the subject of social interaction. But… it simply wasn't fair that people shunned him for these reasons. Then again, as Brera had learned over the years, things were never fair around him, and things were never in his favor either.

Brera was very surprised to touch his cheek and find it to be wet. He was… crying? He never cried unless Grace did something unusually cruel and painful to him.

 _"_ _I… I guess the loneliness has just caught up to me.."_ He solemnly whispered.

Upon hearing angry shouts in the hallway, he quickly walked out of the room to join the guard who was waiting impatiently. Brera was then walked to the car with Grace to go pick up Ranka. He was nervous to see her, the cyborg was afraid that she would notice his pain. Noticing would lead to wondering, wondering would lead to questioning, questioning would lead to him having to give answers, and him giving answers would lead to his inevitable demise. The car rolled to a stop, and seeing her green hair bouncing as she ran, he shivered.

"Brera-san! I'm so glad to see you! How are you?" She squealed as she got into the car. Brera frowned. He wasn't well, but he didn't want to tell her that. That would lead to trouble. But he didn't want to lie to her either. "I'm alive, I guess." He mumbled hoarsely. Ranka smiled.

"Grouchy as usual, ne Brera-san?" She piped. After that it was just in one ear and out the other with Brera. Ranka babbled about meaningless things, about how the grumbly old lady across the hall had lost her glasses, but they were on her head. About how a cat in an alley had scratched her when she tried to feed it. About how terrible it was when the apartment complex's Wi-Fi went down for a while.

He wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying.

 _"_ _Brera. Today is Ranka's free day off. You are to supervise her wherever she goes. I believe she said she was going to go do something with her friends. Go with them. Anything happens to her and you're a dead man."_ Grace's voice echoed in his head. Brera weakly nodded. He hated being around when Ranka was hanging out with her group. They all always gave him annoyed glares, and occasionally even dared to poke fun at him. It was very tiring indeed.

He hated it all. Hearing their cheerful voices, their laughter. Watching them play games and talk. It's the worst kind of torture for somebody as lonely as him. Wanting so desperately to join in, but knowing he was unable to do so without being pushed away, Brera was forced to the outskirts of the group, sitting on the sidelines, having what he most wanted –companionship- right in his face but being unable to obtain it.

And Grace had the nerve to ask why he was always moping around. There was one person in the group that he didn't mind watching. _Alto Saotome._ Brera didn't understand why he felt an attraction to Alto, but he knew that that attraction was there. It was the thought of Alto that had caused his blood to flow downwards. Brera didn't understand. Unfortunately for him, Alto probably disliked him more than any of the others did.

That was because of the incident in the classroom. Brera had been standing there, watching Ranka to be sure no harm came her way. Alto had thrown a punch at him, but ended up getting thrown to the floor. It was self-defense. But it showed Alto that Brera wasn't one to be messed with, not one to socialize with, let alone become close with. Brera often wondered what would happen if he started acting small and weak around Alto. Would that change his opinion of him? Or would it just make the teen seem weirder than before? Brera could try it and risk worsening the relationship. But was the possible gain worth the risk?

Brera sighed, he couldn't try to win Alto over because that was the very thing Ranka and Sheryl were trying to do. He didn't want to be the one to turn the love triangle into a love… square? He did want to get close with Alto, but he didn't want his feelings for the kabuki to be obvious. Maybe if he played his cards right he could become friends, being friends might not upset the girls. But anything more than friends would.

There was a problem though. Brera couldn't play his cards right, for he had no cards to begin with. Living a life in isolation doesn't give one much knowledge of social skills, and especially not enough social experience to be able to safely pull something like that off.

Brera's thoughts were interrupted by Ranka's cry of "We're here!".

They had arrived at Ranka's requested location of the Zentran Mall.

/

 _Okay I finished it! Again, I am extremely sorry that it took sooooooooo long to get this updated. Also, any suggestions on what I should do in the next chapter? Even just one idea from you guys would be great, if you haven't noticed, I can really drag out on idea, or quickly build off of it to get new ideas. I really don't like how this chapter turned out, I might rewrite it, but I don't want the same spiteful feelings towards the next chapter after I've written it. Thanks!_


	3. San: Confusion

San: Confusion.

Brera wanted to die. He legitimately wanted to die. Just to… Kick the chair. Or Slash his wrists just a bit too deep. Pull the trigger? Sure. It would do the job. Unfortunately and luckily for him, he could do none of that here. Because. Well. He was in a public place. But that was the problem. Public places were fine, as long as they didn't have too many people. But the Zentran Mall was a popular place. Brera shivered and pressed closer to Ranka, social anxiety overwhelming him. Why here? Why did she have to choose here of all places to meet up with her friends? Although, he probably would have reacted the same to any location with other people in it, because that was just how Brera was.

In his mind. Humans equaled BAD. Animals equaled BAD. Everything in the world equaled BAD. Everything he encountered either brought him pain, or reminded him of the pain that he'd felt as long as he could remember. But who could blame him? For everything that had happened to him, Brera had the perfect right to feel the way he did about the world. It rejected him. Despised him. Tortured him. And for what reason? He didn't know. And frankly, he didn't care either at the moment.

All Brera could focus on in the present time was trying to keep the fact that he was an idiot hidden away. Hidden away from Alto. He didn't care about the others. He didn't like the others. He knew that this petty crush would probably result in more pain, and push him deeper into depression. But he secretly hoped it would push him over the edge. Past his brain's mental capacity, and give him to courage to end his miserable life once and for all.

The cyborg sneaked a glance at Alto, and quickly looked away, his mechanical heart racing. Had the kabuki noticed him staring? He glanced over again, to be sure that Alto had not seen him look. Good. He hadn't seen a thing. Brera scanned the other teen's body, searching for injuries and imperfections. He could see everything. His enhanced vision allowed him to see through clothes, skin, and bone. His gaze dropped lower and lower until it rested on Alto's crotch. Brera couldn't help but to take a mental snapshot of it and store the file in the most secretive corner or his mind. Grace would be mad if she went through his thoughts and found that image.

"Brera-Sama..? A-are you okay? You've been glaring at Alto for a while…" Ranka's voice trailed off. Brera froze, and slowly turned towards her, eyes narrowed, teeth clenched, and a shadow across his face. So. It had finally happened. He had been caught staring. But. He felt like he could make an excuse. Crappy or not, any excuse would do.

"I was not glaring at your friend, Ranka-Chan. I have no wishes to have to look at him for longer than necessary. My thoughts were simply elsewhere, and he had made the mistake to be in my line of sight." Brera exclaimed.

Ranka smiled. "Okay, that's a relief. We were getting quite worried. You must have been quite-"

"We're glad your mind is back with us. Sheryl-San and Ranka-Chan were quite worried to see your aimless stare fixed on their precious Alto-Hime." Michael interrupted. An audible growl could be heard from said princess. It annoyed him to be compared with girls.

"Out of… it." Ranka finished, her red eyes fixed on Alto, as if to be sure that he was okay and that Brera hadn't been firing some sort of harmful beam at the long haired teen from his eyes. Upon seeing that Alto was alright, her eyes returned to their natural state of looking through her surroundings.

Yet again, Brera was not paying attention. He was focused on a noise he had heard. The soft click of a trigger being pulled back, ready to fire. He scanned the area, searching for the source of that life threatening noise. His eyes settled on the tip of a rifle peeking out from behind the corner of a nearby alley. He could hear the ragged breathing of the person wielding the rifle. He could smell the sweat dripping down their neck, and sense their fear. Their heart pumping blood through their veins. 181 bpm. They weren't doing too well. They were terrified. Possibly close to death.

Brera knew that feeling. No time to think about that now, though. He could hear their finger bending, pressing the trigger. The cyborg yelled out a warning to the group. No way in HELL was somebody going to get shot. Not under his watch. His eyes followed the bullet, and watched its path. Straight towards Sheryl. He leapt at her, tackling her out of the way of the deadly marble of metal. Brera yelped as he felt the bullet enter his body. No time for being weak. He could hear the assassin reloading.

He ran at them. Yanking them up from behind their hiding place and pushing them against the wall. He looked into their eyes. Those weren't human eyes. Orange irises flecked with gold and red, and a slit pupil. The best reasoning Brera could offer for those eyes was that the poor man must have been possessed by some sort of terrifying demon. The man smiled a crazed smile, and Brera watched as his eyes faded to normal brown eyes. He heard a click, and then the man blew up, throwing Brera against the alleyway wall, the whole thing coming crashing down on him. He could smell his singed hair and bubbling flesh. He felt the waterfall of blood dripping from the bullet hole in his side. He winced at the burning pain rippling from his broken spine. He could see nothing but an ominous red haze and those demonic orange eyes.

The cyborg twisted his shattered leg from under the rubble, cursing at the pain. He could hear sirens, shouting, and felt small hands desperately trying to pull him from beneath the collapsed wall. Ranka. He tried to push her away. _No. NO._ She didn't need to see him like this. Weak and helpless. Nobody did. Especially not… _Alto?_ He felt larger hands join the smaller ones in their futile attempt to release his broken body from the ruins. _Great. Fucking WONDERFUL!_ He thought. Unable to curse out loud due to the strain his body was in, the teen was forced to curse in his mind,

A fraction of the wall was lifted off him, revealing his crushed body for all to see. _Yesss. A pleasant sight indeed. My lower half squashed like roadkill and my legs going in every which direction. Let's not forget about the blood splatters either! I listen to them vomit with glee…_ he sarcastically thought to himself.

Brera winced as his body was carefully lifted onto a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance. He didn't want to go; the paramedics realized, when one of them cried out and withdrew a hand with an arc of bloody teeth marks on it. Brera knew he shouldn't have bitten her. She had only been trying to help. But he preferred to be alone when injured, without all the people fussing over him. He was weak at the moment though. He wasn't exactly in the proper position to wrestle the gloved hands away from him.

A needle was inserted in his neck, just under his jaw, icy liquid being injected into his fiery veins. The cyborg felt faint, like he wasn't all there. An odd floating sensation enveloped his body as his mind slipped away from him. Still, he held on. Grasping that last sliver of consciousness. He felt tweezers yank the bullet loose from his side and remove it. He felt IV needles in his arm. They were all distant feelings. He could just barely make out voices. Demented words slurring through his ears. Something about him still being awake.

Another burst of freezing liquid was pumped into him, cooling his body from the inside out. The cyborg's eyes rolled back in his head as he slipped away from the bright and pure world into the dark Netherlands of his subconscious.

And dark indeed it was. For he saw the dark shadow of a monster that had tormented him in his mind for years. It was different this time, though. It did not attack him as viciously as it normally did. At first, it just… sat there. And Brera just sat there at first too. They stared at each other. Mechanical eyes locked with monster eyes. Not the same white bulging terrors as usual though. The orange eyes that Brera had seen for a split second in the assassin. They were not as grotesque as he had originally thought them to be. They reminded him of Autumn. He even dared to think that they were pretty. But. All good things must come to an end. Especially for Brera. The orange eyes glazed over with white, and the monster let out its trademark shriek before attacking him as usual. Clawing, biting, smashing.

And then just like that it was over. Consciousness had rescued him! And… brought him back to the real world of pain and suffering.

There were bandages over his face, he realized, when he opened his eyes and saw nothing but white. The beeping of the heart monitor next to him assured him that he was still alive, at least. He began to sit up, but somebody gently pushed him back down onto the bed.

"I would not advise trying to get up yet, Mr. Sterne. Your back was snapped and is still healing." A voice said. Brera struggled against the hand holding him down but instantly held still when a jolt of pain shot down his back, through his legs, and into his feet. Upon hearing his whimper of pain the hand moved off his chest to sliding under his back to press on the injured section of his spine, forcing the pain away from the area. The teen sighed in relief as the pain faded from his back.

"You are not well enough to be awake, it seems. Rest some more. I will check on you again later." The unknown person muttered half to themselves. Brera gasped as he felt the cold anesthesia like liquid enter his body once more. This time he didn't fight it as he drifted off to sleep. This time his troubled mind was blank as he slept.

He awoke again the next day, feeling a lot better than he had the previous day. His unhuman healing abilities had for the most part done their job well. The teen dared to open his eyes. His surroundings nearly blinded him. White. White… More white. Of course. It was a hospital. Of course there would be white. And the smell of chemicals. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. It smelled like the lab at Grace's facility. That lab, like the room he was tortured in, was not a good place for him to be.

Brera shivered as memories flashed through his mind. Very unpleasant memories, indeed. He did what he could to flush those memories from his mind. He jumped as the door to the room as opened. He recognized the person who walked in as Canaria, the medical officer from SMS. She smiled upon seeing that he was awake, but that smile quickly faltered, for she had more serious things on her mind.

"What were those injuries?" She questioned. Her stern gaze burning into Brera's soul. _Injuries? Doesn't she know I was caught in an explosion?_ He wondered.

"The third degree burns in your anus, I mean." She elaborated upon seeing his confused face.

Brera looked at the floor. He would never see the light of day again. This was it. Somebody had discovered the secret of his abuse, and he would pay with his life. Grace was going to slice open his throat and stand over him, laughing, as he would slowly bleed to death.

"If it's something involving your personal love life then you don't need to explain. But that is a very serious injury. If somebody has been abusing you in some way, then please let us know and we will do everything we can to help you!" Canaria coaxed, hoping to get an answer to her question.

Brera shut his eyes and told his most common, and most painful lie. "Everything is fine. I don't need any help." He solemnly muttered. Canaria turned away from him. "If that is all you have to say, then you have healed well enough to be released from the hospital. You are free to go." And with that she walked out.

A few minutes later Brera was walking down the street, cutting through alleyways and across roads. Unbelievably, he was heading back to the building that Grace and the rest of her company were staying in on the fleet. He didn't know why he didn't just leave Grace. Just walk out of the building and never return. Or more importantly. Why he didn't just fight back and kill the madwoman once and for all. It would be self-defense, and it would be easy. And then the amount of pain he went through would be significantly reduced.

But for some reason, the thought of killing Grace caused an aching feeling in his heart. He knew he could never do it. And she knew that too. She was like a mother to him. Apparently he had been found floating in space, barely alive, with most of his body destroyed. Somehow she had it in her heart to rebuild his body into a faster, stronger, and overall better version. And, she had it in her heart to give him another chance at life.

Of course, he would have been perfectly happy to have just died. If life was going to be like what it was for Brera, he rather would have died. But, that was not how it worked out. So here he was, trapped in a world of fear and pain. Unable to fight back due to some stupid emotion. The truth was, for all she did to him, Brera thought of Grace as his mother. Although she didn't do it well, she **did** raise him. She was friendlier towards him when he was younger. Even going as far as to treat him as her own son. But once he turned ten, that all changed.

She turned bitter towards him. Refusing to talk to him or even look at him. She neglected him. Leaving him all alone for long periods of time. Withholding food and water from him. Attacking him with harsh verbal insults. And then one day she hit him, and she seemed to enjoy it because that led to everything that had been happening to him for almost half his life.

And then. The experiments. Injecting strange chemical concoctions into him that she had mixed, just to see how his living flesh would react to them. Once she had dripped a black liquid into his eyes to see what would happen. The cyborg could barely see anything. His world was a very blurry mess. Sunlight burned his eyes. He could only see things clearly if he used his cybernetic abilities to zoom in as close as he could. He could remember that troublesome day very clearly.

 _Brera has been summoned to Grace's office. He knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. It never was anymore. He was twelve at the time. She put on a false smile when he opened the door, and motioned for him to get closer. He obeyed her orders, and held still as she held open one of his eyes and dripped a dark fluid into it. He whimpered as his eye began to burn and tried to pull away._

 _"_ _I know… I know…" She whispered to him, knowing what he was feeling. She then held his face in an iron grip and dripped it into the other eye. He crumpled to the floor, furiously rubbing his eyes. Trying to rid himself of that horrid liquid._

 _"_ _Brera! Don't touch your eyes. Let it do its work." She commanded. Brera ignored her and rubbed his eyes harder, desperately trying to rescue his eyes._

 _"_ _ **Brera! I told you to stop!**_ _" She snarled as she kicked him. The cyborg made a strange sound as her kick landed square on his chest, and removed his hands from his eyes. He slowly moved closer to her when she asked to see his eyes. She seemed to like what she saw because she smiled, and dabbed each eye with a cloth, soaking up the excess liquid. Then gave him a few minutes to recover. His vision was fuzzy and he couldn't see much. Then more of the evil liquid was dripped into his eyes. This time, Brera held still._

 _Grace examined his eyes until they began to bleed from the harsh chemicals. Blood flowing from his eyes and down his face like tears._

 _"_ _You are not to touch your eyes until they heal." She announced, as she wrapped his head in bandages. He was led back to his room, where he sat for the rest of the day. Several days later his eyes had been deemed 'healed', and the bandages were taken off. All he could see were fuzzy outlines unless he concentrated and zoomed in. That was how it was to the present day._

Brera sighed a sad sigh and continued walking home. Why did he put up with her? Nobody else had to go through what he went through. Somebody grabbed his wrist. He looked up. It was Michael, smiling a strange smile.

Brera growled as he was pulled close to the other teen. Michael buried his face in the cyborg's neck and mumbled into his chin "You're cuter than I thought. Wanna come have some fun with me tonight?"

Brera shrugged him off and continued walking. He had seen Michael flirting with every women who came across his path. He heard all the news Ranka blabbed to him. He knew all too well what kind of 'fun' Michael had in mind. Michael did not give up, and ran after him, calling "Oh come on Brera. I got a flash of an idea in my head of sleeping with you and it's all I've been able to think about ever since!"

Brera stopped walking and slowly turned around, replying "Sorry. I'd love to fuck around with you tonight, but I have more important things to be doing. Like checking in at home, and something you wouldn't understand called **work**!"

He regretted saying what he said upon seeing a flash of despair on Michael's face, but what Michael said in response surprised Brera more than anything.

"I messaged Grace. She says you can take the night off if you decided to sleep with me tonight." Michael admitted. Brera blinked in disbelief. It was probably some cheap trick to get the cyborg in bed with him. Michael shrugged his shoulders and held up his phone for Brera to see. Sure enough, there was a message from a contact named 'Fabulous Lady Grace' that said almost exactly what Michael had said. Brera could take the night off if he decided to join Michael in his 'fun'.

Brera tilted his head in thought. What bad could come from this? He'd probably get to sleep. No way a simple human male could bang somebody all night long. Michael would surely run out of stamina at some point. Brera knew the other teen was experienced, so it could relieve some of his pent up sexual frustration. No matter how hard he thought, the only consequence he could think of were possible injury, and possibly some social embarrassment if Michael told his friends. The burns inside his body were healed enough. It had been a day and a half.

"Fine then. This better be good, Michael Blank." Brera decided, staring into Michael's soul with piercing red eyes.

Michael smiled.

This was going to be fun.

/

 _OKAYYYYYYYY CHAPTER THREEEEE AFTER LIKE A YEAR AND A HALFFFFFFF! Sorrrrry if its bad. It shouldn't be TOO terrible! I had a friend reading it over my shoulder almost as fast as I could type. Therefore I had a steady stream of criticism coming from her never stopping mouth. Probably some yummy nummies at the beginning of next chapter. Never heard of Michael x Brera before? Don't worry. I've never heard of it either. Don't worry though! The overall plot is still Alto x Brera! But yes. I have a lot of the story already planned out, but I would love to hear some ideas from your precious little brains!_


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